I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
