Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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