I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
