i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
