After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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