why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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