There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
