Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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