his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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