you mean i was at the winter classic?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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