i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
