she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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