I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
