We're facebook friends in real life
I am puke
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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