my room smells like sperm. sweet.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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