i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
