im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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