In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
