bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
