I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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