I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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