my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
