Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
