I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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