any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
