So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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