Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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