I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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