the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
