Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
