unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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