We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
