Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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