Just fell off a train. Bad.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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