She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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