Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
MIDGETS
????
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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