Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
