Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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