I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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