At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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