Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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