here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
