I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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