Just fell off a train. Bad.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
