Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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