D3 body, D1 cock
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
