Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
