She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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