he looks like a really good dad on facebook
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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