And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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