when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
