im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
