New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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