You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize