Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
