i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
